My Cat Jasmine

About 15 years ago my friend Cindy brought me a cat in a laundry hamper to my house. My boyfriend and I looked at each other like she was crazy. We had two other cats in the house already and no room for a third. In the back of my house behind the pool yard we had a small doll house that the last owners built for their grandchildren, so that's where this cat was placed. On cold nights we wondered how she was doing, and over time we would go out in the middle of the night to check on her.

My friend rescued the cat from her brothers fraternity at Rutgers college in New Jersey. She told us that at every holiday break they would release her from the house to live on her own outside and they never thought she would return. When they came back she was always on the porch and starving. When I got her she was about 4 or 5 years and only 4 pounds. One night we said why don't we bring her in the house its freezing out, so we both went and got her from the doll house.

After months of her living in the house we both came to love her as much as the other two cats. She never got along with the other cats, she tolerated them. At the present she is either 20 or 21 years old, and is ailing. Her kidneys are starting to fail and she is up most of the night looking for water. We started hydrating her on our own after the vet told us how and she is doing OK. Last night we talked about euthanizing her this week and every time the subject comes up, I break down crying. My boyfriend who takes care of animals with such love and care they always come back to life, but I know this is short lived. She is our last surviving cat, the other cats have since passed and we know the house will be very quiet.

I truly love having a pet, but this is the hardest thing about owning one. I know I should be happy I rescued her and saved her life but it brings little or no consolation. I know I must make this difficult choice during the week. I guess I just am not ready to let her go.