Should have stayed home.

Sometimes I think we just need to know when to stay home and enjoy the company we have.
New Years eve started out like any of the last few years, we were in East Hampton and friends were arriving about every hour starting in the early afternoon. Last year we had fourteen people for dinner and this year we had only six people.
The dinner was delicious and everyone was really getting into the conversation. About 1030pm we all cleaned up the dishes and started to get dressed to go to a friends house. My friend had about fourteen people there for dinner and our group added more people to the mix.
My friend Joanne was the only girl. I felt really bad for her since I could tell she was thinking another year ringing in the New Year with a bunch of gay guys. She has been part of our group since we met at 14 years old. Now at 46 we would hope she had met a man and created her own life, but that was not to be.
When we left the party she was crying and I could feel her sadness. I went into the darkened room to speak to her and I told her that we all love her. And she said in a whisper, its not enough. I started to feel so bad for her that I didn't know what to do. I promised her tomorrow and the next few days she would feel better. Years ago a few gays guys were her only friends and now it just wasn't enough, and I totally understood.
I started thinking if we didn't go to this other party none of this drama would have happened.